Making a List Is Therapeutic for the Creative Soul

Around this time of year, I tend to make a list of upcoming games and books I plan to play and/or read. I wonder why. Back in the days when I was a teen, I would have played anything that was given to me, including free games on the PC; and I would have read anything in front of me.   Now these days, I am more picky—really picky to the point of relying heavily on reviews, trailers, and word of mouth to determine a purchase.

For instance, looking at my Wishlist, I have been debating whether to pick  Remothered: Broken Porcelain after reading several negative reviews stating the same thing over and over about how buggy the game is.  Still, a part of me wants to go ahead and purchase the game since it’s on sale but I have been on the fence with this game for almost two years now! I am pretty sure the game is not as bad as reviewers make it out to be— but I don’t think it’s worth the time to play unpolished games regardless of its potential. Plus, I recently purchased Song of Horror and Tormented Soul. Games that are supposed to have the old school, survival horror third-person view aesthetic. They are next in line of games to play-but I do need a break from horror. As much as I enjoy horror for the adrenaline rush, too much of it is not good. So, I have been playing Strange Horticulture and Divinity Original Soul Enhanced Edition instead. I am 36 hours into Divinity! I found myself in the middle of the night playing before bedtime, trying to figure things out. Time sure flies when you are having fun. I like the game-play. It’s a turned based game that involves some strategy. Some people described the game as pen and paper experience, which unfortunately I have never played a tabletop game. But what I like most about the game is its lightheartedness on the seriousness of the plot: I am a source hunter; I hunt down evil sorcerers. The diverse voice acting makes the tone of the game theatrical and entertaining. One character sounds Russian the other sounds Southern and yes there is even an English accent thrown in the mix. It’s dramatic. Even the animals are voice dubbed by real humans which only add more charm to the game. Overall, it has good vibes with relaxing original soundtracks.

Halloween Scarecrow
I thought it was cool that there was a pumpkin scarecrow in the game. 

Looking back at my older post toward the end of 2022, I made a list of games to complete for the upcoming year. I accomplished some. Not all. I have completed Soma, Eyuiden Rising, Elden Ring, AI: Sominum Files, and Whisper of Machines. I also picked a game to play randomly this year: The Last Guardian, Fatal Frame IV, Zero Time Dilemma and Final Fantasy XII. I enjoyed all of them, but I am feeling a little burnt out from gaming in general. I find myself wanting to do other activities that are good for my mental health such as reading a good book or painting. Actually, I am currently reading Charlotte’s Web by E.B White. This book was on my reading list from one of my blog’s posts:Three Films that Make Me Want to Read the Book

Fern holding Wilbur
I appreciate Charlotte’s Web so much more than I did when I was in elementary school! 

Making a list type blog post and sharing it with the world feels like a form of commitment. I want to set bigger goals next year so that means I will scale back from gaming a bit. Sometimes by the time I finish a game, I don’t have the mental energy to write a review because behind the “writing scene”, there’s a lot of writing, revising, and editing. After all the hard work, I still find minor errors (*sighs*). As they say a second set of eyes are better than one. Over the years, I have learned that there is a lot of work behind maintaining a blog, and what drives me is my love for writing and creating content. When I look back at what I have written, I am amazed at my dedication. It’s something I would have never recognized if I didn’t put in the work. Most of all, I learned that I am always evolving. Sure, the blog doesn’t pay the bills, but it pays to keep me sane. So, I suppose everything balances itself out for the time being.

AI: Somnium Files: The Rational I

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Tidying Up and Sweeping My Thoughts

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What Do Damsel in Distress and Bad Boy Tropes Have in Common?

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My Thoughts on Art, Creativity and Blogging

Have you ever wondered why some people who identify themselves as an artist or creative person tend to be on the gloomy side? I often wonder why myself. If you put all the colors together, what will you get? The answer is black! I have yet to find a noncreative person who has never dressed like they are going to the funeral (oh no I’m not talking about tech bros here). It’s so avant-garde to be on the blue side of life. Well, it’s hard not to if you are literally a starving artist! Living a life of uncertainty is not healthy.

I played around with water color pencils. I’m feeling the artist’s hunger to improve. It’s a terrible drawing. Please Note: Artist’s hunger is not the same thing as having low-self esteem.

When I was a teenager, I used to doodle a lot. I used to draw fast sketches of made-up belief people. I even once drew a picture of one of my favorite singers from the band Angelfish and gave it to my art teacher in high school (I’m also a big-time music fan). She loved it. Giving away artwork was my way of compensating her for her time to write me a recommendation letter for scholarships. To be quite frank, it was really part of an English class assignment. It was a way for my English teacher to push kids to go to college. I really had no interest in going to art school or becoming an artist despite the fact I did pretty well in all of the art courses and classes I’ve taken throughout my school life. I remember very well how my art instructor’s eyes lit up when she skimmed through my art journal. She told me to keep a journal because she can tell I am a creative person based on the sporadic font size of my handwriting which never stayed horizontally straight and contained many doodles of random things. She is probably right. She is a professional artist and a scholar after all. To this day, I took her words to heart. Keeping a creative journal allows you to tap into your conscience and give it form. Well, at least that is why I do what I do or attempt to do with this blog as I gather my thoughts and information through writing reviews and sharing it with the public. I want a digital space to house my thoughts, but I often dream of doing something more creative with it.

So, the positive thing about this blog is that it serves me well. It does fulfill that void and lack of creativity in my life. As we all know, creativity is hard to monetize. So just because my blog has been quiet, it doesn’t mean I have abandoned it. Actually, I have been considering moving over to WordPress.org in the near future for my creative needs. I have tried other blogging platforms such as Blogger and Medium because they are more straightforward, but I didn’t like them much. Blogger feels outdated and you wouldn’t be able to find a community like WordPress. As much as I like to blog, I also like to read other blogs as well. Medium, on the other hand, felt like I was joining the rat race. I didn’t enjoy being exposed to articles on how to become a successful entrepreneur and often wonder if that was the type of community it attracts. Blogging about video games would most likely be shunned in that type of environment or ignored. Plus, it never occurred to me that I was trying to be a successful entrepreneur when I started this blog even though I put a lot of effort into writing and editing my blog posts compared to the average blogger. Perhaps, I just fancy myself becoming an exceptional writer one day simply because I enjoy writing. I want to live a peaceful life and write and not join the rat race and die from a heart attack!

Whenever I look back at my blog, I get a warm fuzzy feeling. It has evolved from talking to my plants to turning into something I am very proud of. But I know this blog has been quiet.

picture of a black and white cactus
My cactus is blooming stars (Picture taken by me in 2016).

I just need a little small break to collect my thoughts. Sometimes there are days when I don’t think of anything or consumed anything but just listen to white noise. And when I do feel mentally recharged, I find myself replaying White Knight Chronicles II, re-watching Glask Mask the anime, and reading Lord of the Flies. There’s no particular reason why I chose these particular items. They are just relaxing to me. So, I will be sure to share my thoughts in the near future so I don’t turn this blog into a GHOST TOWN as if it hasn’t already been years, but at least it gives me a safe place to express my true self. What more can I ask?

Well, that’s it for today’s little blog update. With cheer and happiness, see you. 🧸

Gameplay Is as Important as Story

If you click on this post thinking it’s about Dark Souls II because of the featured image, I apologize. I couldn’t find a good featured image for today’s little rant.

A long time ago, my brother and I were playing Xenosaga for the Ps2. I remember I would watch him play. It’s a cinematic JRPG with long cutscenes and I liked the story a lot! But when it was my turn to play the game for myself, I skipped all the cutscenes. He gave me a nasty stare and said, “Oh, you are one of those people.” I shot back at him and said, “Why go through all the cutscenes again when I have already watched you play?” Then he responded, “You have to pay attention to the story to know why you are fighting. It’s part of the game.” With respect, he has a valid point. Having a story can make a game interesting. In fact, some people only play for the story. I respect those who enjoy video games for the story. My brother is good at games but mainly plays for the story.

These past few years, dipping my feet into the indie game world. I noticed many story-driven games that don’t emphasize gameplay. There is a group of folks who defend such games. I am not all that bothered by it. However, it’s insulting when someone on WordPress calls folks like me unsophisticated. They label us as muscle-heads. They think we rely on our fists because we don’t stress about the story.

Avatar inside of a cave in Dark Souls II

Story driven games help people think. They make them more socially aware, socially sophisticated, and civilized. These games open up a dialogue among people. I am not entirely against it. Humanity has come a long way from a monkey brain through years of exchanging ideas. I don’t think having a monkey brain is such an insult. Some people are so rational that they remind me of a machine (PC) with arms and legs. And if you ask me, I don’t know if they are any better than monkeys. If they are so smart, why do they try to outsmart each other through debate? They end up destroying the planet altogether with their sophisticated killing toys. I digress.

2b and 9s with Robot in Nier Automata

Video games can be a great place. You don’t have to think and, at the same time, you do think. It’s such a paradox but that’s why I love the medium. Solving problems and strategizing are considered thinking. The point I am trying to make is that gameplay is just as important as the story. For me, it’s a stress reliever. Take gameplay out of the equation, you get nothing more than just an interactive story with some pretty visuals. I have no concerns about it. However, don’t go around hating those who want a little challenge, some strategy, and a bit of conquest. Gaming requires a lot of patience. Trial and error my friend, that’s how we get better.

A-set looking through her social media

For the record, this post is not directed toward anyone in particular. It’s just the information I have gathered over the years. I often ask myself this question many times as well. Why I love horror and challenging games. I don’t know, but it sure doesn’t make me a monster.

Picture Credits: Dark Souls II: Scholar of the first Sin; Nier Automata; and AI_TheSomniumFiles.