female gamer

Drifting Where the Wind Takes Me

December 17, 2023December 20, 2023HalsdollLeave a comment

Some may not have noticed, but for those who look forward to my blog weekly, thank you. Normally I publish weekly, but it seems like there’s always a lot going on toward the end of the year with the holiday around the corner, and I wish that was my excuse for taking a small hiatus. Honestly, I lack the motivation to blog after doing extensive research about SEO, marketing, and web design. More importantly, I took the time to contemplate what I wanted out of blogging and asked if I was still enjoying it. If I were to be honest, not so much. I enjoy blogging on WordPress but I don’t like how it penalized the blogger for not engaging with other bloggers by commenting on their blogs and hitting the like and follow button. It takes a lot of my energy to reach out to people and when it doesn’t reciprocate, you get that feeling of rejection. Too many rejections make it feel like is it even worth it.

*I just love getting my heart burned, it builds resistance* *but I rather do it in video games*. It’s more enjoyable because I know not to take it seriously.

Blogging is becoming more like work and most sane people run away from work. That’s why I don’t work for the gaming industry. I am pretty sure I would run away from it too. All work no play is crazy. But that’s the marvelous thing about the world is that: “we are all in it together” LOL. I digress. Going back to my blog, perhaps, the audience I am trying to reach may very well be too busy gaming because gamers play games. It’s that simple. So that is why I have been hanging out at Steam, playing Divinity Original Sin Enhanced Edition. It’s quite entertaining and it gives me something to look forward to each day. Great story+great gameplay +great soundtracks=A+++! I believe they are an indie studio but with triple-A qualities. As mentioned in my previous blog post, I have been bewitched by the game! I also learned that the studio is accustomed to making educational and casino games, which explains a lot about my newfound addiction! I love learning and gambling with my time “recklessly”, but at least I am having fun. I enjoy uploading screenshots of my gameplay over on Steam’s account. Here, one sample of my screenshots:

*The prisoner’s dialogue made me laugh hard. I suppose gaming is like prison* *and I am already crazy! Thank you for bringing this awareness to me 😀*

Steam makes it enjoyable to capture those fun silly moments in games. Press F12 to take pictures. I even thought of joining a Girl Gamer club on Steam to be more “social” and less “crazy” but then I looked at the comment section and I stopped. I would be walking into a trap. From what I observed, I don’t think half of the members are even legit and the way they talk is so lewd. So here I am back in my little corner. Doing my own thing. It’s a shame though, I really like Steam’s interface.

Little Shopping Video Game Haul

I took advantage of November Steam’s sale and purchased: Gris, Remothered: Porcelain, and Tales of the Black Forest. After much thought about Remothered: Porcelain, I caved in and bought it. It’s out of my mind and out of sight. The sales marketing tactic works! I shouldn’t have to make things complicated by being indecisive about a purchase, but time is valuable and I have a bad habit of finishing everything thoroughly. Also, I decided to pick up a book to read: The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. I read a few chapters and it feels like it’s written for a movie. One of my political science teachers once said…if you want to know what the book is about just read the introduction, and that’s what I did to the Pillars of the Earth. I learned that the author imagined his book making it into a motion picture. Is there a movie out there based on the book that I am not aware of? I might just pick up the movie but then on a second thought, nah. I discovered the book because of the game, which ironically there is no real gameplay to it. So, I said, well if I am “playing” for the story might as well… pick up the book. That was my logic! I still plan on playing the game because I like the illustration. Why is it so hard to make a decision sometimes?

Games I Am Looking Forward To

Dragon Dogma II
Death Mark II
Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes
Granblue Fantasy Relink
Elden Ring DLC: Shadow of the Erdtree

Well, that’s all I have to say for now. Thank you to those who tuned into this blog. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and that my craziness hasn’t scared you away!

My Blogging Pet Peeves (Gaming Blog)

September 2, 2022October 7, 2022Halsdoll1 Comment

Most of the time, I am pretty level-headed and many people (offline that is. I’m not active on social media) said I am pleasant to be around. I am polite, hard-working, and considerate. Even my former boss said I am the nicest person in the world! Wow, I felt so honored to be called that. I suppose you don’t meet a lot of people who skip to work when work sometimes feels like running into a battle. I’m an optimist and sometimes a bit too overconfident by default, which is not always a great thing. I think it’s partly because I have a lot of alone time for reflection. I think and then write, edit then revise. As a result, this blog helps me stay sane, calm, collected, and understanding. Unfortunately, I wish I can say that my blogging experience has been very good. There are some blogging annoyances. Some have to do with indexing issues but it’s more to do with the blogging gaming community that I run into which cannot be helped, but can it?

It’s been a while since I did my 3-list blog post where I just make 3 lists of anything for fun. It’s a great writing exercise. So, today’s topic will be on blogging pet peeves. Brace yourself because this is not a positive, uplifting post, but I hope it’s insightful. I will try to keep it light.

#1) Passive Aggressive Blog Posts

I can never understand gaming bloggers who disrespect their readers. They should be happy that someone follows them because there’s a possibility that they are genuinely interested in their content. What irks me is when bloggers think their readers are inferior to them. I followed a female gaming blog that thought it would be funny to review a coloring book game for little girls just so she can make fun of it. I wish I understood the humor because if I were a kid, I think I’d like the game. The game is intended for little girls and not for full-grown adults. I guess making fun of a little girl’s game makes someone appears bigger?

2#) What Does It Really Mean to Be a Feminist?

I followed a few feminist bloggers back then. I learned that not all feminists (males included) agree with scantily clad women or lipstick feminists. I believe in equality too, but I don’t see a problem with women who are in tune with their feminine side. If you want to pay for my meal after a hard long day of killing zombies, hunters, and lickers, I got no objection. I’ll cover for you next time as long as I can afford it. Sadly, gender inequality pay is still a thing here in the U.S for the girly girl. There’s nothing more irritating than being called a gold-digger just because you are broke from trying to compete in a society that praises and rewards masculine over feminine traits unless you sell your body. I hope you can tell I’m joking. It’s a double joke. If you have played Resident Evil Revelations, I’m referencing and mocking a gamer’s comment I found on a gaming forum about Jessica. Some people called Jessica a gold-digger because she demanded Clive R. O’Brian, another character from the game, to take her out to eat after they are done with their job. You can’t see it in the picture below, but she is wearing a makeup bag around her waist. This portrayal of the woman always irks me a little. What’s so bad with keeping up with appearance while on the job? It’s empowering.

Jessica posing — Jessica Sherawat from Resident Evil Revelations

#3) Competitive Bloggers

I support friendly competition, but I don’t support catty competition where someone tries to discredit me by telling me what I like is not cool enough and what they like is better. What’s the point of following each other only to stress each other out? There were a few times I would leave comments only to get pushed back by anxiety-driven gamers who need a lot of work in the self-esteem department. They should be happy at least someone commented on their blog. It means they took the time to read and think about what you got to say. Isn’t that why people blog in the first place? Sometimes I wonder if it has to do with my pen name, Halsdoll. If you are curious, you can check my blog post about the meaning behind my pen name. My pen name was never intended to sound seductively alluring to support the patriarchal society, but somehow, I get pushed aside. The indie gaming community seems to be conflicted with all things femininity because 1) girls are just so weaaak (and that is not a typo); 2) the damsel in distress is not only a threat to another woman’s resources but she is also dead weight, and 3) the shameless hussy woman relied on her looks to get what she wants from men. You see, the suspicion towards women will never end because women were never seen on an equal level to men for having ambitions and desires separate from their counterparts despite the fact that gaming is so mainstream now that even your grandma is probably gaming as we speak and tweeting about it on Twitter!

It always seems like it’s the frailest one who has the strongest determination on the battleground-screen shots from 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

Ryoko Shinome: I won't let anyone else fight for me screen shot

There you have it, my 3 blogging pet peeves, which most people probably cannot relate to, but hey this is my blog and I thought it might be worth sharing since nerds really do like exchanging information. It just shows that oh my, the quiet Asian woman can be so straightforward and have such strong opinions contrary to what some people think. Never assume. I hope you found this post insightful because I was never the type who like to complain for the sake of complaining.

Gameplay Is as Important as Story

June 6, 2022March 1, 2026Halsdoll1 Comment

If you click on this post thinking it’s about Dark Souls II because of the featured image, I apologize. I couldn’t find a good featured image for today’s little rant.

A long time ago, my brother and I were playing Xenosaga for the Ps2. I remember I would watch him play. It’s a cinematic JRPG with long cutscenes and I liked the story a lot! But when it was my turn to play the game for myself, I skipped all the cutscenes. He gave me a nasty stare and said, “Oh, you are one of those people.” I shot back at him and said, “Why go through all the cutscenes again when I have already watched you play?” Then he responded, “You have to pay attention to the story to know why you are fighting. It’s part of the game.” With respect, he has a valid point. Having a story can make a game interesting. In fact, some people only play for the story. I respect those who enjoy video games for the story. My brother is good at games but mainly plays for the story.

These past few years, dipping my feet into the indie game world. I noticed many story-driven games that don’t emphasize gameplay. There is a group of folks who defend such games. I am not all that bothered by it. However, it’s insulting when someone on WordPress calls folks like me unsophisticated. They label us as muscle-heads. They think we rely on our fists because we don’t stress about the story.

Story driven games help people think. They make them more socially aware, socially sophisticated, and civilized. These games open up a dialogue among people. I am not entirely against it. Humanity has come a long way from a monkey brain through years of exchanging ideas. I don’t think having a monkey brain is such an insult. Some people are so rational that they remind me of a machine (PC) with arms and legs. And if you ask me, I don’t know if they are any better than monkeys. If they are so smart, why do they try to outsmart each other through debate? They end up destroying the planet altogether with their sophisticated killing toys. I digress.

Video games can be a great place. You don’t have to think and, at the same time, you do think. It’s such a paradox but that’s why I love the medium. Solving problems and strategizing are considered thinking. The point I am trying to make is that gameplay is just as important as the story. For me, it’s a stress reliever. Take gameplay out of the equation, you get nothing more than just an interactive story with some pretty visuals. I have no concerns about it. However, don’t go around hating those who want a little challenge, some strategy, and a bit of conquest. Gaming requires a lot of patience. Trial and error my friend, that’s how we get better.

For the record, this post is not directed toward anyone in particular. It’s just the information I have gathered over the years. I often ask myself this question many times as well. Why I love horror and challenging games. I don’t know, but it sure doesn’t make me a monster.

Picture Credits: Dark Souls II: Scholar of the first Sin; Nier Automata; and AI_TheSomniumFiles.