May’s Books, Games, and Creative Projects

May Calendar

May has arrived. After watching several videos on journaling, I decided to try making my own calendar book in the beginning of this year. The first few months of page design weren’t pretty. But I think I can proudly say May is my best! Anyway, creating a calendar each month is a fun activity that takes me away from the screen. I also want to try junk journaling or go back to pastel drawing. Watching other people’s creative works is so inspiring. With that being out of the way, let’s talk about what I have been playing reading and playing.

Reading

I finished Call of the Wild by Jack London and Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë. Currently reading My Antonia by Willa Cather. Out of the three books, even though I have not finished My Antonia, I am enjoying it the most. The pioneer spirit of working immigrants is very inspiring, and the writing is just so beautiful and full of compassion. However, I found the dialogue between the characters shockingly racist. For instance, I didn’t know what a Lapland woman is until I read this book: “Lapland women were fat and ugly, and had squint eyes, like Chinese…mother says Norwegians up North are always afraid their boys will run after them (p.192, Bantam Classics).” Um… okay. If they are so ugly why would the boys run after them? It sounds like a bunch of girls gossiping nonsense. For the most part, I enjoy the imagery of the prairie. There are many descriptions of nature that I could visualize in my mind. People back then spent more time outdoors, and perhaps that is what draws me to the book.

I have added more books to my reading list ever since visiting the local bookstores. There are so many books I want to read, but oddly, I find it more fun to write about video games for this blog. I don’t know why.

Gaming

Last month, I spent time with Trinity Souls of Zill O’LL. I am halfway now. I know it’s taking me forever to complete since I don’t play the game every day and only about 40 minutes a session. It works for me. And since I already achieved the platinum years ago, I don’t stress about trying to get everything in one playthrough. I focus on the story, and I must say, I love the story! It reminds me of Oedipus the Rex, which happens to be one of my favorite plays. Areus, the protagonist, has one mission in life–to kill his evil Grandpa! It has a mixture of Greek and Norse mythologies. Everything that I like, and this scene, a fighting (flirting) scene, is so fun to watch:

I also like how the game includes an encyclopedia of the bestiary, characters, quests, journals, etc. It is so organized. The best part is the Gallery menu. You can watch movies (cutscenes), look at paintings and listen to the music. I am still debating whether I want to do a video game essay or review once I complete it. It’s very time-consuming, I realized. If you have not played this game and you are a fan of JRPGs, I highly recommend this game.

I also watched an entire Let’s Play video of Silent Hill 3. I remember not enjoying it as much, but it’s more of a user experience problem. I am surprised I beat the game back then, even though the camera gave me motion sickness. Watching it again, I appreciate its artistry, symbolism, and stage design. The level of detail in the monster design is amazing. I also understand why so many people like Heather. She is stylish, edgy, and doesn’t mind being in her own company. She blazes in the game without flinching–almost like she is so used to the nightmare. Towards the end, she questions herself: has she gone crazy? I guess that is what makes the game a psychological horror. I still prefer Silent Hill 2, though. I just don’t like too many references to the woman’s anatomy. It makes me queasy.

In relation to Silent Hill 3, I do want to mention that I haven’t seen anyone talk about Audrey Rose, a film by Robert Wise. I watched it on Amazon Prime a few years ago, and it reminds me so much of the story revolving Heather. It’s a psychological horror that discusses the concept of reincarnation. The way the film was shot terrified me. If you have not seen this horror film, you should. You can find it on Tubi and Youtube, free with ads. I wonder if I am the only one who notices the resemblance.

Final Thoughts

Gaming has been quite selective for me. I know that I have a few games I need to revisit, but I am not sure if I have the right mind set to enjoy them properly. Lately, I prefer something more adventurous and nourishing. As for books, I dropped Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. I’m just not feeling it. So I don’t want to waste anymore of my time with the book. This approach to my hobbies makes me happier.

Things that help Me Stay Calm

anime style Asian girl with glasses reading a book

I like to keep track of the books I want to read on an Excel spreadsheet. This way, I can stay focused. So far, it has been working. I have been reading more. However, I didn’t enjoy checking off a book once I finished reading it. I started to feel like I was on a reading conquest. It was as if I were turning into a dark soul, losing sight of why I was reading. Was I trying to become the Scholar of the First Sin? So, this year I won’t abandon my list, but I will only refer to it when I need a reminder. It helps take off a huge mental load. Also, having books nearby and visible encourage me to pick up a book instead of my phone. Keeping up with current news can be tiring. Everything is just bad news.

I found more solace in books than in following the news, hoping that things would turn out for the better. Mass employment in the headlines? Europe potentially going to war because of Greenland? The price of groceries skyrocketing. Not a good sign. Anyway, I realized if the world is going to burn, I am just going to read books to stay sane. The books/manga I am currently reading are:

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
Dune by Frank Herbert
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet
Grimm’s Fairy Tales Volume III
Monster Volume IV by Naoki Urasawa

Here are some of the books I would love to read this year. Some books I have had for a while.

My Antonia by Willa Cather
The Time Machine by H.G. Wells
The Sea Wolf by Jack London
The Call of the Wild by Jackon London
Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
Coriolanus by Shakespeare

Gaming

As for games, I went back to Demon’s Souls (Ps3). It is probably the only game I will play for the entire year. It’s a peaceful, difficult game. What can I say? I am a slow gamer. Plus, I got to make time for others things too such as gathering healthy recipes. Although sometimes it feels like work.

I finished the demo of Trails in the sky 1st chapter. It was fun!

Final Thoughts

I hope you will find some solitary moments away from this chaotic world. It’s hard to escape to video games these days when real world events feel like a circus show. I guess everyone is a star in this crazy reality T.V show.

Note: Featured image is AI generated. I am impressed that it captured the right mood for this post. The funny thing it looks like she is wearing my old reading glasses. It’s broken now.

Rediscovering White Fang: A Review

I am feeling nostalgia for simpler days. So, I purchased a used copy of White Fang by Jack London at the local bookstore. I found it while I was browsing books for fun. It’s one of the books my 4th-grade teacher read to us. At the time, I couldn’t appreciate it like every other coming-of-age book. I remember thinking why is our teacher reading this boring book to us? Most of us fell asleep at our desk. Me? I was staring outside the window. Now that I am around her age, I think I understand why she picked this book. She was trying to civilize us wild schoolchildren and it worked like magic!

Anyway, the book is so good. It fell apart midway through as I was reading it. Okay, I confess, that’s half the truth. The book was already in poor condition when I bought it. On the back of the book, there is a coffee stain! But for $1.50, I cannot resist. I also like the book’s cover. It looks old-fashioned. The large print is also appealing. After all, a book is less valuable if it’s just on the bookshelf as decor. Books are meant to be explored and read.

White Fang on top of other books and pink pen next to it

Synoposis

White Fang is a wolf, but is also a quarter dog. This makes him a special creature. He is wild but also domesticated. Thus he has an advantage over purebred dogs and wolves. His hybrid breeding enables him to navigate the harsh Yukon environment, and the brutality of the man-gods (humans) he encounters.  As he goes through different man-gods, White Fang comes to civilization once he meets the rightful one. The rightful one is just, fair, compassionate, and strong.

Writing Style

I was instantly captivated by the writing style. The prose is so poetic. The first paragraph of the book throws me into the cold wilderness. I feel it:

The land itself was a desolation, lifeless, without movement, so lone and cold that the spirit of it was not even that of sadness.

I also like how the author describes the wild as a frozen-hearted savage. It’s the perfect stage where dog eats dog to survive. The writing is so intense that I felt as if I were in the book!

There were a few things, however, I did not enjoy about the book. It was more of a personal thing, though. After all, the book was published in 1906. Time has changed. Perhaps, not always for the better for some folks, but regardless, time has changed. I don’t know how I’d feel living inside a white picket fence governed by a self-righteous man-god. I would find it difficult, especially when he is unfairly transactional.

Final Thoughts

Overall, it’s a great book, but one that feels foreign to me now, and yet familiar. It’s a weird feeling that I cannot describe. It’s comforting; at the same time, alienating. I guess being an adult means learning how to think for oneself. We are all shaped by our environment.

Hunchback of Notre-Dame, the Collapsed Sanctuary

All of the characters except for Master Pierre Gringoire met their tragic end because of love. Quasimodo died from a broken heart when he failed to protect La Esmeralda who was the only person who showed him genuine kindness when he needed most; La Esmeralda died for loving the false savior, the King’s Archer Phoebus de Châteaupers who could care less if she died in captivity for being framed as his murderer; Captain Phoebus died (mentally) when he got married because that means no more night out at the brothel;  the recluse from the rat-hole died from trying to protect her daughter from being captured by the King’s guards; and lastly, the Archdeacon Claude Frollo died under God’s will for he was a priest who can never pursue La Esmeralda like a normal man. Only Gringoire, the poet, escaped death because he found love in stones:

First, I love women, then animals. Now I love stones. They are quite as amusing as women and animals and less treacherous.

-Gringoire (p.477)

I find that quote quite amusing because there is some truth to it, although I would have crossed out the ‘women’ part in the quote and inserted ‘men’ instead. Joke aside. In literature, we call characters like Gringoire, a comic relief because the subject of this story is quite serious. I don’t think I would like the book as much if Gringoire had not made me laugh. He was the only character I felt safe around La Esmeralda, because he wasn’t interested in deflowering her. But why is this important? No pun intended, because no one wants to get screwed! Indeed, she did get trapped in a web like a fly:

“A bewildered fly, which was seeking the March sun, flung itself through the net and became entangled there. On the agitation of his web, the enormous spider made an abrupt move from his central cell, then one bound rushed upon the fly, which he folded together with his fore antennae, while his hideous proboscis dug into the victim’s head (p.338)”

This passage is about La Esmeralda. She was like the bewildered fly trapped in a big spider web (Notre-Dame) and was later sentenced to death by the King (the big spider) because he is the protector of Notre-Dame. The King under God’s absolute authority was too deaf and blind to grant clemency to La Esmeralda, who was accused of murdering Captain Phoebus (he wasn’t even dead, btw). And Archdeacon Frollo allowed fate to take its course by not saving La Esmeralda when she rejected his love. If he cannot have her, then no one can. That was his logic (p.574). Do you see why I said jokingly that men are treacherous? How could she love an assassin who forces her to follow him and make him her master, her savior? We cannot force people to be with us. That’s imprisonment.

Minus the love drama, the book is about how human thoughts and beliefs change the structure of society over time.   The invention of the printing press killed the architecture because each book is each person’s thoughts and when you add them all up together, it’s bigger than one architecture that represented millions of people (p.227). That is how the architecture loses its authoritative voice in the society. That is why Victor Hugo the author, introduces the reader to the Feast of Fools in the first chapter to forewarn the reader on what is yet to come by making a mockery out of the elected Pope by having him switch places with Quasimodo, the hunchback, one-eyed, deaf bellringer of Notre-Dame. He may be a “one-eyed man [but he] is far less complete than a blind man. He knows what he lacks (p.66), unlike the Pope, the King, and the rest of the aristocrats. Because “[without clemency,] they are but blind men groping after God in the dark (p.540).”  It made sense to me why La Esmeralda and her goat were mocking the captain of the city’s pistoleers and the king’s procurator in the ecclesiastical court during their street performance in the earlier part of the book. These high officials don’t provide justice; they are just aristocratic clowns on public display. Not only did she captivate the crowd, but she also bewitched the Archdeacon to the point that he attempted to kidnap her with Quasimodo so that she would stop polluting his mind with impure thoughts with the little pout she always made. The truth is something within her has awakened his soul. Was it love, or was it the eternal life he was searching for that he couldn’t find it in science or alchemy? In the end, it was the vagabonds and Quasimodo who tried to save Esmeralda from the power grip of evil men. They were the real savior. The introduction of the Feast of Fools was indeed a mockery of the failed belief system in Paris during 1482.

For my final thoughts, out of all the characters, I pitied Archdeacon Frollo the most even though Quasimodo is just as unfortunate. Being a learned man had turned him into a rigid priest and a very sad one (p.194). When you are always seeking knowledge, you leave yourself with no room to connect with other humans. It’s a lonely place to feel like you are above everyone. Lastly, I find the passage about writers are the new masons (p.230) quite interesting. What would Victor Hugo think about the internet?! He would say the programmers are the new writers! You see, the “Architecture is the great book of humanity, the principal expression of man in his different stages of development, either as a force or as an intelligence (p.216).” When the printing press came into existence in the mid-1400s, humans transferred their beliefs from stones to books, and so the architectures no longer have the tyrannical authority over society’s beliefs; it became art or a symbol of the past, just like Notre-Dame of Paris. Now books are becoming a symbol of the past as digital contents are more popular among the mass. The human mind is indeed the architecture of humanity. So yeah, “All civilization begins in theocracy and ends in democracy (p.218).”

Note:  I read the unabridged version published by Fingerprint. Also, the featured image for the blog post is by AI. Pardon me if it looks kind of odd. I believe it’s because it lacks a human soul.

Four Books by Asian Authors I Enjoyed Reading

Although I wrote a lot about video games, at the core of this blog, it is my passion for metaphors.  I  have been diverting my attention from gaming to reading books instead! Reading is quite relaxing for a change. 

In no particular order, I present my list

Books #1 How to Pronounce Knife by Souvankham Thammavongsa

I saw a book vlogger review The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet, and she dissuaded me from reading the book due to its rape scenes. I haven’t gone far enough in the book to put the book down or come across the icky section, but I dread it. So I watched her other book recommendations from her and discovered How to Pronounce Knife.  The book comprises short stories broken into chapters about the lives of Lao refugees attempting to assimilate into Western culture.  The book was enjoyable and easy to read.

Do I recommend the book?

Absolutely. It’s interesting to learn about how culture assimilates and the difficulties they face. It makes us readers a bit more empathetic to different ethnic groups.

Book #2 The Chronicle of a Blood Merchant by Yu Hua

If you like one book, most likely you want to read more from the same author. That’s why I picked up the Chronicle of a Blood Merchant. I’m a big fan of To Live because I strive to live a quiet, simple life. Something about the prose resonates with me on a spiritual level. This book did not fail to entertain and teach me something about the human heart. What does blood have to do with family? Plenty. It’s a story about a father who goes the extra length to feed his family by selling his blood.   What I learned is that there’s a difference between sweat money and blood money. Sweat money is earned for things you need to get by, but blood money is earned at the cost of your life for another life ( I may write an essay on the blood metaphor at a later time).

Do I recommend the book?

Yes. If you are looking for a feel good story about a father and son relationship, I highly recommend this book.

Book#3 The Last Empress by Anchee Min

I picked up this book accidentally at the second-hand bookstore while browsing books for fun. I was attracted to the yellow book cover, which depicts a woman wearing an elaborate hairdo. Little did I know it’s a book about the “evil concubine” that I often see in Cantonese drama series. From what I remember throughout my childhood, Lady Yehonala (Empress Cixi) was portrayed as an evil old lady. After reading this book, my opinion of her changed.   When Guang-hsu asked her whether she preferred an antique Han vase over the English gifts of toothbrush and paste, she responded: “I am more pleased with the toothbrush and paste…Now I get to protect my teeth from falling out and can also contemplate how to prevent the country from its own decay (p.144,).” Empress Dowager knew that China was dying and acknowledged that foreigners had the upper hand regarding military technology.   Her willingness to face foreign threats made her a better leader than the emperor who was too fixated on outdated ideals and traditions.

Do I recommend the book?

I highly recommend this book if you enjoy reading about Empress Dowager Cixi, and I also recommend this book for those who enjoy poetry. I love the imagery in this book.

Book#4 Empress Orchid by Anchee Min

I liked The Last Empress so much that I picked up the first book in the series!  Yep, I did not read the books in order. To be honest, I prefer reading about her when she became a mature woman more than when she was a young naive girl whose dream was to marry the emperor and bring fortune to her family, which unfortunately did not end in a fairy tale. The main reason why I prefer the second book is because I didn’t care much about the romance between her and the emperor.  However, what I found most fascinating about the book was the depiction of the Forbidden City. It’s like a glamorous cage where everyone is restricted to customs and traditions.

The book goes into more detail about her survival in the Forbidden City and her personality. She methodically weaved her way into the heart of the emperor to prevent herself from becoming among one of the many thousands of abandoned crazy old nuns who were left unloved by the emperor. With her wit in navigating the imperial government, she became a great politician, assisting and advising the emperor on many political matters.

If had been a man and been able to set foot outside the palace, I would have gone to the frontier and come back with my own strategies(p.154).

-Lady Yehonala

From the mid-1880s to the early 1900s, China faced many threats such as international imperialism and the Taiping Rebellion. It’s hard not to admire her bravery and her mental strength. 

Do I recommend the book?

I don’t think I have to recommend this book because it’s considered national bestseller.

There you have it! My reading list is small, but it’s pretty long for someone who reads a lot for work. I may go into details for each book at a later time. So how about you, have you read anything interesting as of late?

Note: Feature imaged is from the Eiyuden Chronicle Hundred Heroes

Charlotte’s Web Review: The Sedentary Spider

I typically gravitate toward writing essays these days but refrained from writing them. You can only sit in one position for so long in solitary that your mind starts to play tricks on you. I did not know all this time I was like a sedentary spider that weaves her words at the corner of the web. Don’t worry, unlike Charlotte the spider in the book, I am not bloodthirsty. I don’t eat my prey. And unlike her, I don’t get enough fresh air, which is something I hope to change. To resolve this problem, I attempted to step outside from time to time. Say hello to the trees and the squirrels. Once I feel recharged, I sink into my thoughts again, allowing creativity to flourish new lines. And that was what inspired me to write a poem instead of a formal review for this blog. I took the lessons learned from the book quite serious: The quote, “Never hurry and never worry…Keep fit, and don’t lose your nerve (p.64)” stuck in my head for weeks. Miraculously, it lifted the invisible chains that thwarted my creative progress into thin air. I feel lighter because I am most happiest when I am in Creative Mode. I hope you enjoy the poem.

The Sedentary Spider

Collect your thoughts from yesterday

to lock it away

because yesterday was very much like today

and I hope it will always stay

The poem is a reflection of my elementary school days, which I considered to be one of the happiest and carefree times of my life. Our teacher gave us an assignment that involved drawing an insect. I drew a picture of a spider I found from flipping through the pages of the animal encyclopedia. My drawing was so good that my classmates asked me to draw a spider for them. All I did was imitate the drawing in the book. I gave it hairy, brown legs and menacing dark slit eyes. Feeling elated by my natural-born talent, I agreed because I was impressed with myself too. It was my first time drawing a spider, and because of my effort, we all got A+ for our assignments. What more can a little girl ask for in life when she is appreciated and liked by her peers? Life is much easier when we all get along. Of course, adult life is more complicated, and perhaps that is why I tend to retreat back to elementary days. Sometimes I like to keep things simple.

If there is one important lesson, I learned from this great book is to always give thanks and credit to those who work behind the scenes. After all, no one suspected it was a spider that wrote “Some Pig” on the web. Yes, Wilbur became the famous pig, but it’s Charlotte’s miraculous work that saved his life. Like many readers, I was touched. It’s a great book about true friendship and about finding innovate ways to help a friend from becoming someone’s crunchy food (p.98)!