Female protagonist

My Honest Thoughts on Silent Hill F

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I don’t know where to start. The game’s content is quite heavy. I’m not even sure if I like it personally. I am not even sure if I want to replay the game. There are multiple endings. The themes (i.e. gender discrimination and child abuse, bullying etc.) can draw out uncomfortable emotions from some of its audiences. Like the themes from Silent Hill: The Message, the game is far from entertaining. The game provided a Content Warning disclaimer, which is nice. However, making a profit out of someone’s misfortune is hardly a form of entertainment to me. So if you are looking to play something fun, you won’t find it in this game. Instead, you’d find a well-made psychological horror game about a struggling cute, schoolgirl in a man’s world. No one really gets her. It’s so sad that she can’t even talk to her doll.

Please don’t kill your femininity because you hate your dad. Not all guys are bad...

As for me personally, I would rather laugh than cry. So I am going to put this game aside for now…until I am ready to go underwater again. I am so curious about the other endings.

What a pretty sad flower

P.S.

I am sorry for being vague. It’s a good game. I am speechless about the game for the most part. Maybe I’ll come back with a longer post. It will make SEO happy. 😀

DS3: Wrapping Up

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My journey is coming to an end. I defeated the final boss (Lord of Cinder). Also, I have defeated Slave Knight Gael, the final boss of the Ring City DLC. The lore is very interesting, so I decided to go on a 2nd journey to unlock ‘The Usurpation of Fire’ ending. There are three endings total, and I have already seen two of them. One was from my old playthrough.

In my previous blog post, I said I would discuss the Painted World of Ariandel lore (particularly Sister Friede) but by doing so, you must have some knowledge of the Painted World of Ariamis in Anor Londo, where you face Priscilla in DS1. The painted world in DS3 is linked to the Hollow realm of Londo. Similarly, Sister Friede is like Pricilla except harder. She represents death. So just imagine a cold world without warmth. It’s not very pleasant. I personally did not enjoy the snow area, and it wasn’t because I hate the level design, it’s because the bright light from the snow hurts my eyes!

It’s not bad. At least there are flowers.

Anyway, Sister Friede is one of the maidens of the Primordial Serpent and one of the sisters (Yuria and Lillian) who founded the Sable Church. The Sable Church offers salvation to the hollows who led unsavory lives. And what does hollow mean? It is when the undead eventually lose their minds. Just like Sirri’s grandfather, who became a madman. Another important point is that Sister Friede is ashen like the player. Her duty was to link the fire to prevent the world from dying; however, she chose rot over flames along with Father Ariandel. In other words, they want the Painted World of Ariandel to rot. If you have played Demon’s Souls, does she remind you of Maiden Astraea, a pure soul that turned to an Archdemon because God was cruel for abandoning the Valley of Defilement and its inhabitants to wither and die? It’s female compassion backfired, but oddly maternal. Can a good mother ever abandon her children, even if they are monsters? So, when a player defeated Sister Friede, the painted world became engulfed in flames for the better. The action I took as an intrusive player messed with my conscience a bit because I empathized with Sister Friede’s decision to choose rot over flames, but I also know it’s not right to choose death. What she wanted was a world that rot away eternally. Is that what you call peace for the hollows? It kind of sound like hell to me. In her circumstances, compassion was her weakness, and therefore, she was no champion of life at all.

Dragon Path Gesture emote after defeating sister friede
Sorry, Sister Friede, for burning your sanctuary.

Instead, a “cold, dark and very gentle place” might be better. And that where the Ring City fits in, which is different from the hollow realm of Londor and which I won’t go into detail. I do want to mention that I really like Yuria and Sister Friede as characters but I don’t agree with their worldview–the hollow way is not the right way. I guess that is why I like Sirris of the Sunless Realms and Shira, Knight of Filianore. I rather live in a world full of warmth than a cold, sad one even if I am bound to selfless duty. What can you gain from a selfish world?

Painter sitting on a chair getting ready to paint
A “cold dark and very gentle place” for the hollows I suppose.

There are some Elden Ring references I noticed in DS3, which led me to believe this game is a prequel to Elden Ring. In Elden Ring, rot is the cycle of birth and decay–like how flowers bloom then wilt. Whereas flames, it’s light, the source of life. We are dealing with polytheism with a mixture of animalism here. It just shows how complex the narrative is in the game, leaving room for a lot of interpretation. But I can theorize that the story of DS3 is about allowing the fire to fade for a new world order. So everything in the game is mournfully sad. Apart from the theme, I feel sympathy for these NPCs and may have to go back and explore their questlines. I accidentally killed Ringfinger Leonhard, who has a sad story. Well, everyone in the game is sad and broken.

Meditating in the storm. It shall pass.

I am not sure if I want to platinum the game. For your money’s worth, this game is timeless, on par with classic books. Unfortunately, not everyone will ever get to experience the story because it’s a challenging game that requires some dedication. Maybe one day, FromSoftware will make a Dark Souls novel? I heard there is an Elden Ring movie in the making. I am not sure how effective the story will be, though. Video games as a medium for storytelling are a unique and one-of-a-kind experience. It just makes the story so much more personal and definitely more rewarding to get through. I must confess that this game is so hopelessly dark. The next game I am going to play is definitely something lighter and cheerful. Hmm… or maybe I will go back and reread Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, a book that reminds me that adults have it backward when it comes to living.

DS3: Thoughts on Sister Friede

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Before I start the boss fight with Sister Friede in the Painted World of Ariandel, I want to mention the bosses I defeated previously. These include Dragondslayer Armor, Oceriros the Consume King, Champion Gundyr, Ancient Wyvern, Lothric, Younger Prince, and the Nameless King. I did this before starting this DLC because I was no match for Sister Friede at level 45. I suppose there is a reason why players can access the DLC midway through the game. It was placed at the Cleansing Chapel Bonfire, which I still do not understand. I do, however, think there is a flaw in this edition. I cannot summon Slave Knight Gael (will do a separate post on story) during the boss fight. I have already summoned him for the battle with Prince Demon and progressed his questline. So, if you are playing this edition, I suggest you skip the DLCs. Return when you are at a higher level. Make sure to play the DLCs in order. It will save you time because the extra help from Slave Knight Gael is greatly appreciated. Of course, you can summon help if you play online. However, I couldn’t do that because I don’t have a PlayStation Plus subscription.

Oh boy, like Prince Lothric and Nameless King, those boss fights took me several runs. Sister Friede was the cherry on top!  I guess never underestimate the power of the cold nun.

Sister Friede walking coldly
Is that Priscilla Scythe from Dark Souls? I love Priscilla!!! (phase 1)

The first phase was fine. The second phase was easy. The third phase was the most difficult. You can summon Slave Knight Gael. However, he will only appear during the second phase of the boss fight. As I mentioned earlier, you can summon him if you have not defeated Prince Demon in The Dreg Heap. I wasted so many embers because I kept running out of estus flasks in the third phase. In the end, like always, skill helped me beat the boss. I knew its pattern and dodged like crazy. I am not going to lie. It feels so rewarding when I beat her. I have been trying for several days! Of course, I do feel shame for invading her world. She did politely ask me to return to where I came from. But I am just so curious. A world without flames? What sort of world is that? Death? The curious cat in me has to know!

Sister Friede getting angry
My curiosity pisses Father Ariandel off… (phase 2)
Instantly got killed by Blackflame Sister Friede side swipe
The image is a bit dark, but there were several moments like this when I almost killed her, but she got to me first (phase 3).

I won’t talk about the strategy on how I won the battle in detail. There are some good ones on YouTube: Gentle Needle and Loreena are ones that stood out to me the most. It was hard to avoid her when she goes into invisible mode. She swipes you with her scythe, taking a big chunk of your HP. What I did differently from other players was preventing her from going into invisible mode. I blast her with the Great Soul Spell before she even gets to disappear. Doing this helps conserve estus flasks for the final round. She was so quick and fearsome in the final round. My heart was pounding!

Lastly, I will mention the optional boss: The Champion’s Gravetender and Gravetender Greatwolf. This post is mainly about Sister Friede. The boss fight took me a few tries, but it wasn’t too difficult. By defeating it, you will unlock Undead Match. Perhaps this is where ‘PVP creed’ came from, where players are not allowed to use estus flasks during a duel. I like how the developer added this gaming mechanic. If players want to do PVP, there is a section for that. This is because not everyone wants to duel. Not everyone wants to fight to the death.

I burned the Painted World. Now all I have left is the final boss and the Ring City DLC. But first, I stop to smell the flowers before I go on a killing spree.

stopping to smell the flowers

Four Books by Asian Authors I Enjoyed Reading

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Although I wrote a lot about video games, at the core of this blog, it is my passion for metaphors.  I  have been diverting my attention from gaming to reading books instead! Reading is quite relaxing for a change. 

In no particular order, I present my list

Books #1 How to Pronounce Knife by Souvankham Thammavongsa

I saw a book vlogger review The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet, and she dissuaded me from reading the book due to its rape scenes. I haven’t gone far enough in the book to put the book down or come across the icky section, but I dread it. So I watched her other book recommendations from her and discovered How to Pronounce Knife.  The book comprises short stories broken into chapters about the lives of Lao refugees attempting to assimilate into Western culture.  The book was enjoyable and easy to read.

Do I recommend the book?

Absolutely. It’s interesting to learn about how culture assimilates and the difficulties they face. It makes us readers a bit more empathetic to different ethnic groups.

Book #2 The Chronicle of a Blood Merchant by Yu Hua

If you like one book, most likely you want to read more from the same author. That’s why I picked up the Chronicle of a Blood Merchant. I’m a big fan of To Live because I strive to live a quiet, simple life. Something about the prose resonates with me on a spiritual level. This book did not fail to entertain and teach me something about the human heart. What does blood have to do with family? Plenty. It’s a story about a father who goes the extra length to feed his family by selling his blood.   What I learned is that there’s a difference between sweat money and blood money. Sweat money is earned for things you need to get by, but blood money is earned at the cost of your life for another life ( I may write an essay on the blood metaphor at a later time).

Do I recommend the book?

Yes. If you are looking for a feel good story about a father and son relationship, I highly recommend this book.

Book#3 The Last Empress by Anchee Min

I picked up this book accidentally at the second-hand bookstore while browsing books for fun. I was attracted to the yellow book cover, which depicts a woman wearing an elaborate hairdo. Little did I know it’s a book about the “evil concubine” that I often see in Cantonese drama series. From what I remember throughout my childhood, Lady Yehonala (Empress Cixi) was portrayed as an evil old lady. After reading this book, my opinion of her changed.   When Guang-hsu asked her whether she preferred an antique Han vase over the English gifts of toothbrush and paste, she responded: “I am more pleased with the toothbrush and paste…Now I get to protect my teeth from falling out and can also contemplate how to prevent the country from its own decay (p.144,).” Empress Dowager knew that China was dying and acknowledged that foreigners had the upper hand regarding military technology.   Her willingness to face foreign threats made her a better leader than the emperor who was too fixated on outdated ideals and traditions.

Do I recommend the book?

I highly recommend this book if you enjoy reading about Empress Dowager Cixi, and I also recommend this book for those who enjoy poetry. I love the imagery in this book.

Book#4 Empress Orchid by Anchee Min

I liked The Last Empress so much that I picked up the first book in the series!  Yep, I did not read the books in order. To be honest, I prefer reading about her when she became a mature woman more than when she was a young naive girl whose dream was to marry the emperor and bring fortune to her family, which unfortunately did not end in a fairy tale. The main reason why I prefer the second book is because I didn’t care much about the romance between her and the emperor.  However, what I found most fascinating about the book was the depiction of the Forbidden City. It’s like a glamorous cage where everyone is restricted to customs and traditions.

The book goes into more detail about her survival in the Forbidden City and her personality. She methodically weaved her way into the heart of the emperor to prevent herself from becoming among one of the many thousands of abandoned crazy old nuns who were left unloved by the emperor. With her wit in navigating the imperial government, she became a great politician, assisting and advising the emperor on many political matters.

If had been a man and been able to set foot outside the palace, I would have gone to the frontier and come back with my own strategies(p.154).

-Lady Yehonala

From the mid-1880s to the early 1900s, China faced many threats such as international imperialism and the Taiping Rebellion. It’s hard not to admire her bravery and her mental strength. 

Do I recommend the book?

I don’t think I have to recommend this book because it’s considered national bestseller.

There you have it! My reading list is small, but it’s pretty long for someone who reads a lot for work. I may go into details for each book at a later time. So how about you, have you read anything interesting as of late?

Note: Feature imaged is from the Eiyuden Chronicle Hundred Heroes

Tales of the Black Forest Review

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It might sound absurd, but I haven’t come across that many games that blew my mind away in terms of storytelling. Yes, there have been decent games, but there were only a handful of them I thought were masterpieces. But is that a bad thing? To the contrary, no. Sometimes I just want to play something stupid and fun because when a game tries too hard to be serious and deep, it loses its spark. Now I am not saying games can’t be thought-provoking, but they need to have a good balance of humor because as we all know, life is already as serious as it is. Don’t reflect our realities in games. The last horror game I played, Tales of Black Forest missed the entire point of a horror game and it rubbed me the wrong way.

fox character on a boat
I hope they find their freedom by making games and not the other way around.

After being annoyed with the game, I picked up a book to read instead. It’s not that there wasn’t a story to the game, it’s the way how it was put together that left me with a bad taste. I get the sense the developer was hoping to make money off of games by advertising cute girls and horror themes and called it a game. You know throw some achievements, cute cat cafes, cute monsters, and cute girls. Too many cute things make me feel as if I am biting into a sweet cake and we know that too much sugar is not good!

Cute cat girl cafe pondering life greatest decision
I am glad you figured out your destiny but it’s unnecessary to project it in your game.

By the time I reached the end, I was so unconvinced with the story with what it was trying to tell that I felt as if the game was more about showing off than actually creating a genuinely good horror game. Because like the protagonist… ” Sorry to dissapoint you, I can see monsters and ghosts since I was born, and I have seen more frightening stuff than this.”

Thank you for speaking out my mind because that’s exactly how I feel about this game.


I know cut them some slack. It’s a RPG Maker game, but you can’t improve if you think you can get away with pretty drawings. Make it less about you and more about the player because someone is paying for it. But of course, that’s just one customer’s opinion. 🙂

P.S.

For short version of my reviews and reccomendations you can find them here on my Steam account.

Gris Review: Sadistically Beautiful

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If I were to play this game when it was released in December 2018, I don’t think I would enjoy it as much since I was still in the grieving process of losing my mother in September that year. I couldn’t enjoy any games until almost a year later when I picked up the Cat Lady. These days I am fine; however, I still find myself with teary eyes whenever fond memories of my mother slip into my mind. So, you might think I would be emotional playing a game like Gris, which deals with the death of a love one. On the contrary, I find the game uplifting and beautiful. I enjoyed solving light puzzles; running in the forest; feeding a creature with apples; and swimming in the cold lake. It’s a game with a certain beauty that brings out the optimism in life. You see, death is natural but you will be okay.

In each stage, the colors represent different emotional stages one goes through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Progressively the stage gets harder ( I could elaborate but this is a review not an analysis). There are several times I try to reach the hard-to-reach items (mementos), which are items that need to be collected to reveal a hidden cutscene on why the female protagonist is grieving. Some of the mementos can be completely missed in the first playthrough. Luckily, you can backtrack by selecting a chapter in the game. Speaking of checkpoints, they can be a bit bothersome because having to redo a puzzle can be quite annoying. There is one part toward the end of the game that frustrates me. I have to be precise about where to execute the jump button while being upside down to avoid the gravity from pulling me upward. It always takes me a minute to get through. The good thing though, once you familiarize yourself with the gaming mechanics, it’s not impossible to finish the game within 3 hours or less. I can see Speedrunner having fun with this game since there are some challenging obstacles but I definitely do not recommend this game as a coping mechanism to deal with a loss. It would only make the player more frustrated unless you are one of those people who process emotions through solving problems. Then this game might just be for you.

Here I will attach some of my favorite screenshots in no particular order. Of course, the game is so much better if you play it.

girl in despair
girl swimming in lake
gris facing the bird
gris surrounded by birds
gris diving further underwater
girl standing by the lamp
young girl hugging statue of her mother

Sometimes, pictures do tell a better story than words. In this case, the game is beautifully well-crafted by the folks from Nomada Studio. When I saw the trailer back in 2018, the game’s vibrant colors reminded me so much of El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron, a game released in 2011 on the PlayStation3 and X-Box 360, but there is a newer remastered version released on Steam in 2021. Also, it looks like the game will be getting a release for the Nintendo Switch in April 2024, according to the sources online. Like Gris, the game focuses on atmosphere and colors. But I’ll stop here because this review is about Gris!

The Meaning Behind NightCry

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NightCry developed by NudeMaker, and published by Playism Games was released in 2016. It was originally made for the mobile game the PlayStation Vita and the PC. It is one of those survival horror games that has an interesting concept but failed to impress some survival horror fans. Some hated it, and some enjoyed it. I am one of those who love it! After all, it’s all about introspection.

The story takes place on a luxurious cruise ship. There are three playable characters in this game. They are all well-designed and serve their role effectively. Monica’s determined persona, Leonard’s mysterious allure, and Rooney’s relatable charm added depth to the story and gave it a powerful ending. Like it or not, Rooney is a character that lives inside most of us. Some of us only come to life when our lives are threatened. The game developer might have wanted to express this concept by turning the story into a dark comedy. Depending on where you stand, you might find this sort of indirect bullying to be off-putting because you play as Rooney, a depressed college student who becomes stronger and stronger over time as she learns to fight for her life. Is the developer trying to say something about its audience? You see, there’s no “L” sound in the Japanese language so her name is Loony but is pronounced Rooney. Pun intended or not, it’s clear that the developer thinks poorly of Rooney. Her somber, docile nature proves it. You can read an article from Polygon that supports this statement. Now I wonder is that why the game takes place on a cruise ship. The cruise ship may very well be an allegory about rich people who have no reason to be depressed when there are less fortunate people out there who have no time to contemplate death because they are too busy trying to survive. Take Monica for instance, she is the stronger character compared to Rooney. Unlike Rooney, she is a college student with two part-time jobs and a parent to her younger siblings. Death is not a choice; it’s a luxury.

Now let’s talk about the gameplay. The gameplay itself is straightforward, featuring light puzzles, running, and hiding. However, you can’t rely on hiding in the same spot twice and failing to hold your breath properly by pressing the button on the screen can lead you to an early death. There are countless times I laughed at my failings and yet I didn’t find Scissorwalker the antagonist to be menacing. Instead, I think it is humorous. It likes to play peek-a-boo, catching players off guard when they least expect it. Carelessly examining every nook and cranny would trigger its appearance. Nevertheless, it is a necessary risk to take. The constant threat of the Scissorwalker, combined with the character’s limited stamina, forced me to be strategic and always be aware of my surroundings. And this is where some players find it frustrating. It is a point-and-click horror game. I remember struggling to get away from the Scissorwalker in the hallway by repetitively clicking the mouse to run and often dying because it failed to register my command. Yet, it isn’t a huge glaring problem for me as I am more interested in the game’s concept than the experience. In horror games, there should be some struggles–intentional or not. It’s not a horror game if it’s just a walking simulator with pixelated monsters. It becomes a digital, interactive art.

Overall, the concept of the game reminds me of a maze puzzle because the story follows a flowchart. Depending on your choices in the game, you can end up in a bad situation, which leads you to a dead end. There are many terrible shocking ways to die. If you have a morbid sense of humor like me, you will enjoy the game. For instance, I made a mistake entering a dark room without turning on my flashlight. I got killed. I laughed. Game over. You know what they say about laughter: It’s the greatest medicine. I’m so glad I didn’t let some negative reviews hinder me from playing it. It’s not going to vibe with everyone who is looking for a straight-forward horror experience but if you are looking for a game with some depth, this game deserves another chance. To me, a good game needs good art direction. It’s the overall package that triumphs over the small imperfections because I could say the very same thing about Yume Nikki, a popular indie horror game. As long as the players find value in a game that’s all it matters.

Note: This article is a response to tangomushi’s video game essay on NightCry.

Originally published January 22, 2017 9:53 pm; Revised October 10, 2023

Kuon Review: Horror without the Gore

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I Couldn’t Follow Through

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Currently in Nightmare Mode

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I wanted to write about the story in Fatal Frame Mask of the Lunar Eclipse but I sort of got burnt out; on top of the fact, I am ill as we speak. It hinders my ability to write, but I’m slowly getting better. If only I schedule in advance like most bloggers, this wouldn’t be a problem. Oh, my stubbornness. I just like to do things naturally without a set schedule. You can’t force creativity. It comes to you or it just doesn’t.

I give myself a cookie for attempting to keep this blog updated weekly

Anyway, I finished my third playthrough with a 62% completion. Took a break from the game and now I am playing it for the 4th time! Collecting all the Wraiths is the hardest part since it happens on random occurrences. However, I am not too concerned about beating the game on Nightmare Mode. I just have to be mindful of using health items and stronger type films since you can no longer purchase them in the Save Menu. Luckily, my weapons (Camera Obscura and the Spirit Stone Flashlight) are maxed out. It’s going to be tough because items in the game are pretty scarce. So that means…I can’t let ghosts touch me! As I mentioned before, the wisest decision is to play the game on Easy Mode so that you can get the feel of the game. All items will be carried to the next playthrough. So I recommend stocking on items while you can. But if you are in just for the story, then Easy Mode is the way to go because the story alone is pretty good.
I still have not grasped the thought process behind the reasoning of each character but I feel that Detective Choshiro Kirishima is the hero of the day.

Resting time is up.

He is investigating the Moonlight Syndrome that turns people on Rogestu Island into lunatics. Okay…I am just joking that is not the story of the game. Stay tuned while I’ll try to piece the story together on the 4th playthrough in Halsdoll’s style. Hopefully, I will try to get it in before Mother’s Day. I could play more feminine games like this.

The photo mode is so fun.