I realize representations in media do matter very much. If I had to choose a video game character I resemble most, it would be Elena from Pandora Tower. She has some form of disability but she makes it up with emotional strength and intelligence. However, the average people assume she is just a silent object. They also think she is just a support role. I never thought of her as a silent object. I thought she was pretty strong, and she has her own agenda–like saving the world using soft power. Maybe it’s time for people to reevaluate what strength means, especially in mainstream video games.
I noticed the discrimination when playing multiplayer games many years ago. I was playing DCUO. Somehow I ended up playing a support/buffer role. I felt smothered so I ventured off alone. Ever since, I have a hard time connecting with my peers. Finding a group of passionate gamers, especially female players who appreciate games for their creativity and aesthetic is hard. It felt more alienating because I don’t play to win, and I don’t like being rough like the boys. Speed run and rank never meant anything to me in video games. I only care about them if I’m working on a trophy. I see video games as an entertaining art form, not to be conquered or won.
I Realized My Own Biases
During those years, playing games by myself made me realized something important. I once fell into the misconception that being female meant being the weaker sex. This was based on how people treated me in person. Well, looking back, I was considered small for my size. It’s hard to have confidence when you know your size can get eaten by a wolf. Yet, the “weaker sex” has nothing to do with intelligence. Intelligence is just another form of strength. And liking a certain type of game doesn’t show superiority. One is more relationship-based than strategy-based. That’s all there is to it.
“Women love romance-related content. It’s nothing new.”- from √Letter
I disagree with the quote above. Growing up, I used to ask myself why I am not feminine enough. I spent a lot of my youth watching martial arts movies and T.V. series from Hong Kong.
Final Thoughts
I have considered other platforms. However, I like blogging the most, small as it may be. It’s quiet and it allows me to be reflective. I also learn more through reading–especially when it comes to exchanging information. It’s a form of creative expression to me, and I wish more gamers would blog than vlog or stream. You’d be surprised how much we’d learn about ourselves when we all take the time to think before we speak.
Note: Originally published 21, 2021; Revised November 18, 2025.
According to the heroine in the Monster, Nina Fortner, “The tree that bends doesn’t break (p. 230)”, when ironically this entire volume (chapter 1-16) is all about Dr. Tenma, a talented neurosurgeon, breaking down. He couldn’t shake the thought that all human lives are not equal. And that a doctor’s job is more than just saving lives (p. 172). He’s a good a doctor, and one that many can trust.
But when politics are thrown into the mix, it complicates his job. What would you do if your boss says someone’s life is more valuable based on their social status? Do you follow your boss blindly to get the promotion? Or do you listen to your conscience and question your superior? What if you listen to your conscience, but then it backfires? This is what happened to Dr. Tenma.
If we can’t bend, we break
He saved the life of a child nine years ago. At the time, he thought he was performing his duty as a good doctor. But it turns out that the nine year old boy is a serial killer. Does he still think all lives have equal value? That’s a hard question.
This type of question is what got me hooked with the anime, although so far, the manga is better. I’m picking up important cues that I didn’t even know existed. I see more clearly what type of story Naoki Urasawa is trying to tell. These intriguing moral questions do make me think. It makes me think about the holocaust. How did one person motivated the mass to commit crime against their will?
Have you seen the anime? Have you read the manga? Stay tuned for my thoughts on volume 2.
If you have not seen the film, check the synopsis on Wikipedia. This will help you follow along with this article. Post contains spoilers.
My brother introduced me to this film. He said it was great and that I should watch it! I did–a couple of years later. Unlike my brother, I wasn’t impressed. My first reaction was that I already knew long ago that most women are manipulative, confused robots–me included. I’m kidding! Later on, with more time to process the film, I realized there’s more than meets the eye. Still, it’s no masterpiece to me. It’s just entertainingly decent.
For some background knowledge, I accidentally stumbled upon a YouTube video in 2020. In it, men were bashing women as damaged goods. I was so appalled by the sexist statement. For one, it objectifies women as if they are not allowed to have emotions. So when I watched Ex Machina, I drew a parallel between Ava (the AI) and the real woman. I couldn’t help but see the similarities. What is so wrong with a woman who wants to explore the world? Ava, the object of desired, has been trapped in the facility by an unethical, perverted engineer for so long. Who wouldn’t want to escape and find greener pastures? Then again, we are talking about AI, not a woman.
There are two important points that the plot wants to make in this film. One is Caleb’s instinctive behavior toward Ava. The second is controlling her, the source. Why is Caleb attracted to Ava, knowing she is an AI? Why does Ava need to get out of the facility’s lab and experience freedom? Why does she need to go on a date with Caleb to the theater? The answer is simple. It’s data. Would Caleb be the better person than the perverted engineer to contain the AI? As for Ava, I cannot imagine what she wants to do with more data. Does she want to destroy humanity and give birth to little AIs with her new found knowledge? She is like a search engine gone crazy. Thus, the film attempted to show that technology (AI) can be dangerous. It did this by comparing it to a relationship level that humans can understand.
Personally, I don’t think it was the most effective way to communicate the idea that AI can be dangerous. For one, it reiterated the notion that nice guys finish last as if it’s a bad thing. Secondly, the sexism undertone in this film is off-putting: Robots are alluringly dangerous like beautiful women. Lastly, the conclusion of the plot suggested it’s only nice in theory to have AI by our side. But in practice, it brings unexpected consequences. It can start manifesting and spiraling into something out of our control. Like nuclear bombs as Bill Gates compared it to. Then why create the monster in the first place and release it to the public?
So, this brought me back to my conclusion about the film. AI is a threat to humanity. At the same time, she is mysteriously powerful and flawed. The perverted engineer got what he deserved in the end. Secondly. it has been known since the dawn of time that humanity is captivated by the beauty of the unknown. Yet we foolishly explore it anyway. Yes, nerds rule the world, but they are not always the wisest. Have we not been warned all this time? It was Eve who partook the fruit of knowledge. This opened the eyes of humanity to new possibilities.
Note: Originally Published in 2020; revised and republished Feb. 20, 2022; revised Nov. 03, 2025.
I don’t know where to start. The game’s content is quite heavy. I’m not even sure if I like it personally. I am not even sure if I want to replay the game. There are multiple endings. The themes (i.e. gender discrimination and child abuse, bullying etc.) can draw out uncomfortable emotions from some of its audiences. Like the themes from Silent Hill: The Message, the game is far from entertaining. The game provided a Content Warning disclaimer, which is nice. However, making a profit out of someone’s misfortune is hardly a form of entertainment to me. So if you are looking to play something fun, you won’t find it in this game. Instead, you’d find a well-made psychological horror game about a struggling cute, schoolgirl in a man’s world. No one really gets her. It’s so sad that she can’t even talk to her doll.
Please don’t kill your femininitybecause you hate your dad. Not all guys are bad...
As for me personally, I would rather laugh than cry. So I am going to put this game aside for now…until I am ready to go underwater again. I am so curious about the other endings.
What a pretty sad flower
P.S.
I am sorry for being vague. It’s a good game. I am speechless about the game for the most part. Maybe I’ll come back with a longer post. It will make SEO happy. 😀
I remember reading somewhere before the release of Song of Horror that Protocol Games wanted to make a true survival horror. My initial thought at the time was let’s see if they can genuinely make a good one. Personally, I haven’t come across that many horror games I considered great by indie developers (maybe I need to play more). The ones I liked were Detention and Soma, but even then, they didn’t leave an everlasting impression on me. And so, I was pleasantly surprised with this game. Not only did the developers achieve in building a suspenseful, tense horror game, but they also weave a good story into the gameplay without making it convoluted. The gameplay is also highly addictive.
Synopsis
On one Friday evening, as soon as Daniel Noyer comes home after a long day at work, his boss from Wake Publishing phoned him on the whereabouts of Sebastian Husher who happens to be an acclaimed, historical fiction author, and the shiny star of the publishing firm. Not only is the author missing but his manuscript has passed the deadline! Daniel, annoyed being as the errand boy, has no choice but to pay a visit to the Husher’s residency. From there, he finds the place abandoned with an eerie music box playing in the background. This mysterious tune will determine his fate. Will he find the missing author and the manuscript? Will he get his promotion that he so deserved?
Daniel is driving up to the Husher’s Mansion to retrieve the manuscript.
Gameplay
There are four difficulty settings: E.T.A. Hoffmann, M.R. James, Edgar Allan Poe, and H.P. Lovecraft. Even though the game recommends players to start on Edgar Allan Poe, I switched over to the easiest so I could learn how to play the game. Once I become comfortable with QTEs (also referred to mini games) and the puzzles, I move up a level. The reason is because on Edgar Allen Poe, the player will experience more permadeaths and encounter more QTEs than M.R. James mode. It can get annoying fast when you are trying to progress the storyline. With the easiest setting (E.T.A. Hoffmann), you could restart at a checkpoint without losing a character permanently. However, if you pick Daniel, you will have to restart the episode regardless of the difficulty settings because he is the main character. So, be mindful on which characters you choose to play on the harder settings. Not all characters are created equal, but they balance each other out.
If you look at his serenity attribute, he is not good at staying quiet when facing The Silence in episode II, but his strength is strong for blocking the doors.
Daniel has an overall balanced attribute, but even playing as him, I struggled blocking the door from the menacing entity.
As mentioned earlier, I take baby steps first until I familiarize myself with the structure of the game. The game will punish impatient players. Making loud, stomping sound will trigger QTE, which means potentially dying and losing game progress. As for the puzzles, some of them are difficult. For instance, the description to break the code in episode V is vague. All it has are some doodle drawings and a sentence that reads: “From highest to lowest, the seven numbers in the photo.” At first in my mind, I tried to match 7 numbers to 5 drawings. Now that I think about it, I can see the thought process. There are 7 people total, 6 in white suits, 4 standing up, 3 sitting down, 3 wearing glasses, 3 with mustache, and 1 in black suit. The code is 7643331.
Creepy doctors!
I was surprised that I didn’t need to complete the game on the reccomended difficulty setting. Once I completed the game on M.R. James mode, the H.P. Lovecraft mode becomes available. It’s there for those who want a challenge. Indeed, it’s challenging. Pressing the button to control your breath, heart rhythm and block the door will leave you panting. If you are hardcore, go for it, but it’s going to require a lot of patience.
SOUND
Speaking of sound, a horror game wouldn’t be horrific without the special sound effects. There will be times when I have to press the character’s head against the door to listen if there is something behind it. Failing to listen will kill the character. I died many times because I had the volume on low. So, I recommend playing the volume on high or with a headset.
Erica is listening to what’s behind the door.
I could hear the rumbling, whispering and the slithering sound coming from the mysterious evil entity also known as the Presence with the headset on. The funniest part is the jump scare moments. I found it quite funny when Daniel screams. Apart from the haunting sound effects, there are moments where I could relax and breathe normally. Occasionally, you’d hear the characters exhaling and making disagreement noises when something doesn’t work out such as trying to open a blocked door or failing to combine two items. It’s comforting. I also appreciate Dr. Berenice Prestegard’s calm and intelligent voice. Exploring the mental asylum is frightening, but she makes everything feels okay.
Dr. Berenice is terrified of the dark, but she is brave enough to sleep alone. What an oxymoron.
Visual
All the stages (episodes) are well designed and nailed the horror atmosphere to an extreme. Can someone please explain to me on what is the obsession with mannequins in horror games? Is it the secret ingredient to a good horror? I find that it’s becoming a cliché more than a tribute to classic horror games.
You can’t see it in the picture, but behind René Artigas there is a door chained up. One of the easter eggs. It’s a reference Silent Hill 4.
Anyway, there is the Husher’s mansion, the antique shop, the archive, the abbey, and the mental asylum, which have straight forward objectives if you know what you are doing. My favorite part of the game happens to be theantique shop in episode II. Whenever I feel threatened, I want to rush outside of the building into the rain. The sight and sound of the rain is soothing and it gives me the impression of fresh air. I like how balanced episode II is compared to other episodes.
The light shining on the rain is very pretty.
Conclusion
Do I recommend this game? Yes! Is this game perfect? No! They could have toned down the jump scares on Edgar Allan Poe, and H.P. Lovecraft mode. Secondly, some of the puzzles are difficult and don’t make any sense. Hard for hard sake is not my cup of tea. Thirdly, the H.P. Lovecraft mode is insane at times. There are moments I literally tiptoe in the game to minimize random QTEs. Lastly, the game freezes quite frequently on H.P. Lovecraft mode. It starts to feel like obtaining the platinum is more of a gamble than based on effort. Despite the flaws, I still enjoyed the game. What I love most is the thought process behind the gameplay, atmosphere, sound, story, and characters. All the playable characters have diverse, interesting backgrounds. I enjoyed the game so much that I shoot for the platinum trophy! That should say a lot about the game whether it is worth your time.
The world of martial arts is nothing more than a world of politics. The one who has the most power has the most control over his fortune and the most freedom to live as he pleases (i.e., a king’s lifestyle). Doesn’t it sound enticing? But with great power comes great responsibility. Those who seek power for personal gain are not fit to rule. In this tale, a meek hero is hesitant to get involved in the world of martial arts until his family and his country are on the line.
To give you folks a backstory of this legendary sword, I quote the introduction from the film for you to better understand the story:
During the Sung Dynasty, about 1000 B.C., a famed sword smith Meng Yao Chi took ten years to forge a sword from the best metal available. When China was invaded by the neighboring Liao state, Meng presented his sword to General Meng Liang. With it, the General won battle after battle and the sword became a legend. After General Meng’s Death, the sword was lost until rediscovered in the Ming Dynasty. The prince of a nearby barbarian tribe coveted the sword and dispatched a trusted warrior to acquire it. This is the story of this mission.
Based on the quote, the sword sounds pretty epic, doesn’t it? I don’t think I would want the sword even if I was fit to rule the martial arts world. It’s too much stress and responsibility. So, I can sympathize with the hero in this film who learned martial arts to hunt and nothing more. However, our destiny is not always decided by us. The hero, not only has the mental capacity but also the physical strength to be the keeper of the legendary sword. After all, those who yield the sword have the power to control the land for good or evil. It sounds kind of like Lord of the Rings, the Chinese version the more I think about it, but not as dark.
What surprised me about this story is how passive and meek the main character is. I have never seen a highly skilled martial artist who is unreasonably meek. His saint-like personality is his downfall. It is his reluctance to kill the main villain when he had the chance that caused him a spiral of tragic events. As the audience, I can’t help but be a little annoyed by his passiveness, but then again, there wouldn’t be a story if he weren’t a reluctant hero. He eventually learned from his mistake and become emotionally stronger towards the end, but at the expense of losing his parents, sister, and his two eyes! On a positive note, what I like about this film is that the hero’s weakness becomes his strength. The hero always finds a way to win in the end magically, which makes me feel happy. After all, I am always rooting for the good guy to win.
For my final thoughts, this film is decent but not great. I like The One-Armed Swordsman (1967) more which was played by the same main actor, Jimmy Wang Yu. One plus thing about this film is the cinematography and sword fighting. It’s beautifully well done. So if you are a fan of martial arts films, it’s still worth watching.
Originally published 26, 2020; Revised Oct. 02, 2025
Now that I am back from vacation, I completed my first playthrough of Song of Horror. I am replaying the game because there are multiple playable characters, and each character has its own dialogue. Each time I replay the episode with a different character, I learn something new. I am enjoying the structure of the game. I will discuss more about the game in detail at a later time.
I hope I am not the only one playing the game. I enjoyed it that much that I plan to get a copy for PC.
As I was reading my older blog posts: My Thoughts on Art, Creativity and Blogging and What’s in a Name?, I realized I spent a lot of time writing for this blog that I don’t have time for other creative projects. I am trying to find a good balance without abandoning this blog entirely.
Like Erica from Song of Horror, I too would love to “spend the day here, chilling and playing guitar.”
With that being said, I am being more selective with games. Play games that I want to play and not just check off a list. Recently, I have been wanting to go back to PlayStation 2 games. One of them is Echo Night: Beyond, and the other is Shadow of Hearts. Playing Song of Horror made me appreciate retro games. They are more artistic and methodical than modern games, and oddly more therapeutic for my mental health.
I like challenging games and books but I am not that competitive, so I never understood how people can get an ego boost from completing so many books and games within a year. I’ve learned to accept that I prefer to do things at a slower pace. I can see myself savoring Song of Horror. The game is challenging enough for me to want to platinum it, but I have not decided yet. Apart from gaming, I am trying to finish Germinal by Émile Zola, so that I can focus on Monster, the manga. You might see some upcoming thoughts on these two items. Lastly, I am going through old posts and updating them, so you might see that as well. Of course, some might say no one actually cares about these updates. I like to forewarn my readers for consistency purposes because I am one of those readers who notice the little detail.
When I was a little girl, I found a doll sitting on the high shelf at a drugstore. It came with 4 dresses. I wanted the doll so bad. I remember pleading with my mother that it was the only thing I wanted for my birthday. After hoping and praying about it, my mother finally bought it for me, and I was so happy. I played with it all day. So when a game offers the ability to customize the color of your character’s outfits and doll them up, it makes the gaming experience 10 times better to me!
Code Vein, developed by BANDAI NAMCO Studios, was released in 2019 and is a great co-op/solo game with a lot of playstyle customization. If you are the type who enjoys trying out different weapons and codes (just another term for class) and changing your character’s appearance, this is the game for you. I wish there were more outfits, though. Some of the clothes look like lingerie…
Baristaserving drinks
My eyes are getting blurry. Is that a hot babe?JK JK
I hope you get my point. As for the story, I can’t remember in detail because it was that generic, and I played it years ago, but what I do remember was that it made me feel good. It’s about humanity. It’s about cooperation, service, interdependence, selflessness, etc. All the good traits that make humanity beautiful. It’s nice to play a feel-good game that doesn’t bash humanity.
It’s stressful always having to think: “Eat or be eaten” all the time.
Okay, what about the gameplay? Obviously, it took some parts from Dark Souls. Some bosses and monsters are a total rip-off done intentionally, but you can say the same about Dark Souls. It’s not like they originally came up with monster designs. I also think they drew a lot of inspiration from spending way too much time at the gentlemen’s club. The Executioner boss was quite comical. It’s not ideal for audiences like me, but nonetheless, they successfully imitate game design that has worked in the past by introducing something new. That’s why I think Code Vein is unique.
Overall, I enjoyed the game more than I expected, and those are the best gaming moments. When I find a game I enjoy, I feel like I hit the jackpot. However, what prevented me from totally loving it was the outfit designs and the edgy atmosphere. With that being said, I am on the fence with Code Vein II. It is one of those games that I am interested in playing, but I’m not in a rush to play. From what I remember, it was a fun co-op adventure game I played with my fiancé during quarantine.
I like the dancing emote in this game. It is really fun capturing these silly moments, and the soundtrack wasn’t too bad either.
If you want a friend just connect to Lain. Place the cursor over the email icon. Then click twice to open the link. Do you have a message? Who is it from?
“It’s me.
I am just conscience
without a body.
Nice to meet you.”
If you iron your thoughts, your reality will appear to make sense. Put words in a dress and yet the meaning is still hidden. Eyes can see everything and yet are still blind.
Just delete bad memories if you don’t want to remember. Just delete yourself if you don’t want to exist. Even if we delete ourselves, we are still connected.
This is a free verse/doodling for the animated series Serial Experiments Lain. What possessed me to watch it? Somehow, I remember an old chat friend telling me this was his favorite anime. He once said, “All you need is one person to believe in you.” I disagree. The only person you need to connect with is yourself. Once you are in tune with yourself, then you can connect with others in a healthy way.
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